My Inner Fatty is Escaping!!

I wrote this a few days ago ....
Weird but I feel like my true inner self is fat and that person is slowly escaping. Why can't I stop this weight gain. It's making me hide out even more because none of my clothes fit! I've gained 20+ lbs in 2 years! Maybe I'm taking too much of a laid back approach to losing this weight. It came on fast so I must lose it fast! I feel very confused because I don't want to go to deprivation extremes that make me just gain the weight back but I do want to get to where I was in 2008 when I lost the weight. For some reason it just seemed to fall right off of me. I think I was stricter with liquor then too.

Ok I need to seriously refocus and change my mindset. I've been thinking that I have to eat how I want to eat for the rest of my life. I think I've gained this weight back by not losing holiday and vacation weight that I gain. For example, go on vacation and gain 5 lbs yet never losing that 5 lbs. Add a few years and holidays and vacations and you get a 20 lb weight gain!

In 2008 when we lost that weight I had a basic plan that I followed. "2 meals, no snacks, no white at nite, 1 free meal a week". I ALWAYS got back on track on Sundays. I did low carb so my appetite went away pretty easily also. I think I shrunk my stomach down.

I feel like I have this 'last supper' thing going and anytime I eat something I feel guilty and as if I'm being watched. I feel embarrassed when I eat and like I have to eat alone. Typical eating disorder behavior I guess.

Well onto THE PLAN ....
(Based off of No S)
DIET:
1. 2 Meals, No Snacks, Free meal on Saturday  (once I hit goal regular No S plan)
2. Keep portions small
3. Wine period 3-8p (Mon-Thurs)
4. Think about food change your thoughts ASAP

EXERCISE
4. Walk daily (pedometer)
5. Yoga daily