Hey There

A brief summary of where I have been in the past 2 years. After some family drama, my sister and I decided to get our lives together and lose the excess weight that we both had been carrying for a few years. She has more of an excuse than me because she had just given birth to her 4th child and was done birthin' babies and ready to get skinny again. I on the other hand hadn't lost the weight from my pregnancy 10 years prior. We both used different diets (I can't even remember what hers was TBH) but I attempted low-carb, Atkins-ish plan.

I started 11/07 after Thanksgiving at 172 and by the summer I hit a low of 140 (well 138 for a few days but that didn't last long). I maintained this weight of 140-143 for the next year then in the fall of 2009 I took up the hobby of cooking, became a vegetarian and gained weight, albeit slowly. When I was vegetarian my face broke out something awful. I have gained approximately 15 lbs back and am ~155 lbs. I felt so good when I was 140 and unfortunately, I think I dieted myself back up to 155. There hasn't been a time that I haven't been on a diet. I weigh myself daily yet this weight is creeping up and I can't seem to stop it no matter what I do. I am about to turn 42 in December so not sure if age has something to do with it.

I decided to go back through my journals and redo what worked then. When I say I did Atkins I was never 100%. I would have 'cheat days' or 'refeed meals' every week yet that worked fine for me and I continued to lose. I had always set up a goal of 5 lbs per month to lose.

I am depressed, embarrassed, frustrated that I gained this weight back. I was always pretty good with maintaining my loses once I got there. I was never one to lose 10 then go off a diet and gain it all right back. I credit that to weighing myself daily. I just feel like I don't even know my body. I'm gaining regardless of what I do. I have been having a lot of carbs so I really hope doing an Atkins style induction will help me at least get started again. In July I was 150 so I've easily gained 5 lbs that won't seem to drop. I came back from vacation 3 lbs heavier and can't lose that. Ugh I could scream! Or cry ...

My reason for making this blog is to have a place for me to vent and record my thoughts, motivations, etc.